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Joking Quote of the Day

Welcome to these Joking Quotes of the Day from my large collection of positive, romantic, and funny quotes.

My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

Related topics: Cynical Funny

A joke is a very serious thing.
- Winston Churchill

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.
When the loyal opposition dies,
I think the soul of America dies with it.
- Edward R. Murrow

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

Take your life in your own hands, and what happens?
A terrible thing: no one to blame.
- Erica Jong

Majority rule only works if you're also
considering individual rights,
because you can't have five wolves and one sheep
voting on what to have for dinner.
- Larry Flynt

Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.
No one can eliminate prejudices -
just recognize them.
- Edward R. Murrow

Don't let one cloud obliterate the whole sky.
- Anais Nin

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fear defeats more people than
any other one thing in the world.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you wait for opportunities to occur,
you will be one of the crowd.
- Edward de Bono

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Drop the sword - for there is but one flesh to wound,
and it is the one flesh of all humankind.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come.
- Joseph Campbell

I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Individually, we are one drop.
Together, we are an ocean.
- Ryunosuke Satoro

In one drop of water are found all the secrets of all the oceans.
- Khalil Gibran

Try a new perspective on diversity.
Across the country and around the world,
we are all one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.
- Mother Teresa

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

Whatever you are, be a good one.
- Abraham Lincoln

Without deep reflection,
one knows from daily life
that one exists for other people.
- Albert Einstein

We should not moor a ship with one anchor,
or our life with one hope.
- Epictetus

No one knows what he can do until he tries.
- Publilius Syrus

The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self,
can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein

One bold inspiration choreographs a dance with promise.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If humanity does not opt for integrity we are through completely.
It is absolutely touch and go.
Each one of us could make the difference.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Spread love everywhere you go.
Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.
- Mother Teresa

True wisdom cannot be learned in a lifetime,
but can be revealed in a moment,
for it has always lived within each and every one of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One thing I know: the only ones among you
who will be really happy are those
who will have sought and found how to serve.
- Albert Schweitzer

Courage is the art of being the only one
who knows you're scared to death.
- Earl Wilson

We will either find a way or make one.
- Hannibal

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

There is only one time that is important - NOW!
It is the most important time because
it is the only time that we have any power.
- Leo Tolstoy

How is it that one rails against that
which is nearly a certainty?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Each one of us has our own perspective
on everything we see in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

People in their handlings of affairs
often fail when they are about to succeed.
If one remains as careful at the end
as he was at the beginning,
there will be no failure.
- Lao Tzu

There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying
about things which are beyond the power of our will.
- Epictetus

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

Even if you are a minority of one,
the truth is the truth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

One accurate measurement is worth a thousand expert opinions.
- Grace Hopper

Be that self which one truly is.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The best relationship is one in which
your love for each other
exceeds your need for each other.
- Anonymous

If one advances confidently
in the direction of his dreams,
and endeavors to live
the life which he has imagined,
he will meet with success
unexpected in common hours.
- Henry David Thoreau

An optimist is one who makes the best
of what he gets the worst of.
- Anonymous

One important key to success is self-confidence.
An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
- Arthur Ashe

To acquire knowledge, one must study;
but to acquire wisdom, one must observe.
- Marilyn vos Savant

If there is any one secret of success,
it lies in the ability to get
the other person's point of view
and see things from that person's angle
as well as from your own.
- Henry Ford

One's philosophy is not best expressed in words;
it is expressed in the choices one makes...
and the choices we make
are ultimately our responsibility.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

There are two mistakes one can make along the road to truth
- not going all the way and not starting.
- The Buddha

I am only one, but still I am one.
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
- Helen Keller

Don't be afraid to take a big step if one is indicated;
you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
- David Lloyd George

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie