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Think of how stupid the average person is,
by George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical Funny

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein

The most important things in life
are seldom the most obvious.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We should not pretend to understand the world
only by the intellect.
The judgment of the intellect
is only part of the truth.
- Carl Jung

When you keep getting the wrong answers,
try asking better questions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To kill an error is as good a service as,
and sometimes even better than,
the establishing of a new truth or fact.
- Charles Darwin

People hardly ever make use of the freedom which they have,
for example, freedom of thought;
instead they demand freedom of speech as a compensation.
- Soren Kierkegaard

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

If a million people say a foolish thing,
it is still a foolish thing.
- Anatole France

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

The greatest harm can result from the best intentions.
- Terry Goodkind

If a problem cannot be solved, enlarge it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank

The most important thing about Spaceship Earth -
an instruction book didn't come with it.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The problem with making assumptions
is that we believe they are the truth
- don Miguel Ruiz

Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus

Think for yourself and question authority.
- Timothy Leary

Character is higher than intellect.
A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed;
if in terms of ten years, plant trees;
if in terms of 100 years, teach the people.
- Confucius

If you think you're free, there's no escape possible.
- Ram Dass

The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Many people allow their need
for other people's approval to control their lives.
They spend their lives worrying about what others think of them.
- Rick Warren

The presence of those seeking the truth
is infinitely to be preferred
to the presence of those who think they've found it.
- Terry Pratchett

Live so that when your children think of fairness,
caring and integrity, they think of you.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.
- Oscar Wilde

How you think when you lose
determines how long it will be until you win.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What you think of me is none of my business.
- Terry Cole-Whittaker

I think wholeness is God's design for us;
and that often amounts to embracing contradictions.
- Bono

I cannot teach anybody anything.
I can only make them think.
- Socrates

Wonder what opportunities you pass, unwittingly,
because your hands are so busy clasping
what you think you have always known.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

WHY do you care what THEY think?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not think that love,
in order to be genuine,
has to be extraordinary.
What we need is to love without getting tired.
- Mother Teresa

Some people care too much. I think it's called love.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Does anybody really think that they didn't get what they had
because they didn't have the talent
or the strength or the endurance or the commitment?
- Nelson Mandela

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie