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The reason I talk to myself is because
by George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical Funny

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha

Fear cannot be banished, but it can be calm and without panic;
it can be mitigated by reason and evaluation.
- Vannevar Bush

It is not what we choose that is important;
it is the reason we choose it.
- Carolyn Myss

The only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason.
- Terry Goodkind

The ultimate authority must always rest
with the individual's own reason and critical analysis.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

An error does not become truth
by reason of multiplied propagation,
nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I reject any religious doctrine that does not appeal
to reason and is in conflict with morality.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If we would guide by the light of reason
we must let our minds be bold.
- Louis D. Brandeis

When I am getting ready to reason with a man,
I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself
and what I am going to say
and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
- Abraham Lincoln

Let reason trump tradition and the opinions of others,
but let your own sense of what is Right trump even reason.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There are a hundred valid reasons why something can't be done,
but only one reason, Commitment, why it can.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein

If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry,
that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware
of having no good reason for thinking as you do.
- Bertrand Russell

I don't believe in killing whatever the reason!
- John Lennon

Trust your instinct to the end,
though you can render no reason.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The reason why men do not obey us,
is because they see the mud at the bottom of our eye.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We are not afraid to follow truth
wherever it may lead,
nor to tolerate any error
so long as reason is left free to combat it.
- Thomas Jefferson

I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe

Life was meant to be lived,
and curiosity must be kept alive.
One must never, for whatever reason,
turn his back on life.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

For as long as I can remember, I've been searching for something,
some reason why we're here. What are we doing here? Who are we?
If this is a chance to find out
even just a little part of that answer...
I don't know, I think it's worth a human life. Don't you?
- the Jodie Foster movie Contact (1997)

Passion rules reason.
- Terry Goodkind

The only reason you suffer is because you choose to suffer.
The only reason you are happy is because you choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice, and so is suffering.
- don Miguel Ruiz

You don't need a reason to be happy,
just a choice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The very essence of instinct is that
it's followed independently of reason.
- Charles Darwin

My only reason for not experiencing bliss at this very moment
is thinking about what I don't have.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only reason we don't open our hearts and minds to other people
is that they trigger confusion in us
that we don't feel brave enough or sane enough to deal with.
To the degree that we look clearly and compassionately at ourselves,
we feel confident and fearless about looking into someone else's eyes.
- Pema Chodron

Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The greatest battle of all is simply... Life.
This is no child's game. This is the big one -
the Super Bowl - the Game of all games.
The rules of Life are unwritten and unknown.
Perhaps, one could say that there are no rules.
The Judge has ultimate power.
She can call the game at any time - for any reason.
The penalties in the Game are completely arbitrary -
in both timing and severity.
Penalty for what, we ask?
The Judge is silent.
How can I win the Game?
"You can never win," comes the answer,
"So just take pleasure in playing the Game."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
- Albert Einstein

Faith... must be enforced by reason...
when faith becomes blind it dies.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Humor is reason gone mad.
- Groucho Marx

Which beliefs bring out the best in you?
Which beliefs hold you prisoner to yesterday
and limit your options for designing a great future?
Test your beliefs with as much objectivity
as you can bring to the subject.
Be willing to let go of those beliefs
that represent your parents' opinions,
or your communities opinions, rather than your own.
Those beliefs that withstand rigorous testing,
should become the foundation of your being -
your reason for living.
Take action on those beliefs.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People will, in a great degree,
and not without reason,
form their opinion of you upon
that which they have of your friends;
and there is a Spanish proverb
which says very justly,
"Tell me whom you live with,
and I will tell you who you are.
- Lord Chesterfield

All perception of truth
is the detection of an analogy;
we reason from our hands to our head.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is useless for us to attempt to reason a man
out of a thing he has never been reasoned into.
- Jonathan Swift

When you arise in the morning,
give thanks for the morning light, for your life and strength.
Give thanks for your food, and the joy of living.
If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies with yourself.
- Tecumseh

True courage is not the brutal force of vulgar heroes,
but the firm resolve of virtue and reason.
- Alfred North Whitehead

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The way to see by faith is to shut the eye of reason.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]

Once you respect yourself, there is no longer
any reason to disrespect anyone else.
Once you are confident of your own worthiness,
the worthiness of others ceases to be an issue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Grace defies reason and logic.
- Bono

Do not seek the because -
in love there is no because,
no reason, no explanation, no solutions.
- Anais Nin

Faith consists in believing when it is
beyond the power of reason to believe.
- Voltaire

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie