Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

I don't like to think of laws
by George Carlin

I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin

Related topics: Cynical Cute Whimsey

I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin

As soon as someone is identified as an unsung hero,
he no longer is.
- George Carlin

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.
- George Carlin

Please sign-up for my Free Daily Inspirational Quotes and Insights Email on the form below.

Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

I love and treasure individuals as I meet them;
I loathe and despise the groups
they identify with and belong to.
- George Carlin

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

If it's true that our species is alone in the universe,
then I'd have to say that the universe
aimed rather low and settled for very little.
- George Carlin

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- George Carlin

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand -
and melting like a snowflake.
- Marie B. Ray

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Obstacles are like wild animals.
They are cowards but they will bluff you if they can.
If they see you are afraid of them...
they are liable to spring upon you;
but if you look them squarely in the eye,
they will slink out of sight.
- Orison Swett Marden

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
- The Buddha

Anger is like a thorn in the heart.
- Yiddish Proverb

What if we just acted like everything was easy?
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Success has a simple formula:
do your best, and people may like it.
- Sam Ewing

Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
- Thomas Edison

Sing like no one's listening,
love like you've never been hurt,
dance like nobody's watching,
and live like its heaven on earth.
- Mark Twain

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed,
easy to get into, but hard to get out of.
- Proverb

To dream of the person you would like to be
is to waste the person you are.
- Anonymous

When you see something done,
know that you intended it.
If you don't like what you see,
then deeply examine your intentions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Know that time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
You give your own meaning to time, as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Leaders aren't born they are made.
And they are made just like anything else, through hard work.
And that's the price we'll have to pay
to achieve that goal, or any goal.
- Vince Lombardi

Act the way you'd like to be
and soon you'll be the way you act.
- Leonard Cohen

The hardest of all, is learning to be
a well of affection, and not a fountain,
to show them that we love them,
not when we feel like it, but when they do.
- Nan Fairbrother

The greatest lovers are like twin blooms,
each reflecting the passion and the glory of the other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you don't like something, change it,
If you can't change it, change your attitude
- Maya Angelou

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Our deepest fears are like dragons
guarding our deepest treasure.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Love is like the truth,
sometimes it prevails,
sometimes it hurts.
- Victor M. Garcia Jr.

Life is like a game of cards.
The hand you are dealt is determinism;
the way you play it is free will.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.
- Khalil Gibran

A person without a sense of humor
is like a wagon without springs.
It's jolted by every pebble on the road.
- Henry Ward Beecher

Football is like life - it requires perseverance,
self-denial, hard work, sacrifice,
dedication and respect for authority.
- Vince Lombardi

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare

Love like you've never been hurt,
dance like no one is watching,
live as though heaven is on earth.
- Satchel Paige

Life is like a box of chocolates.
- Forrest Gump

This time, like all times, is a very good one,
if we but know what to do with it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought,
happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him.
- The Buddha

"Be like me" is not a Golden Rule.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Words, like nature, half reveal and half conceal the soul within.
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

Like Beauty, Joy and Suffering are
in the Eye of the Beholder.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why, I'd like nothing better than to achieve
some bold adventure, worthy of our trip.
- Aristophanes

There's a point... when you have to choose
whether to be like everybody else the rest of your life,
or to make a virtue of your peculiarities.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain

Let your life lightly dance on the edges of Time
like dew on the tip of a leaf.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The truth is like a scalpel. The truth is painful.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Like a bird in flight, your life can soar
above the troubles of the world.
Breathe deep, choose, and break the shackles of your past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is like a beautiful flower
which I may not touch,
but whose fragrance makes the garden
a place of delight just the same.
- Helen Keller

The unknown is like the darkness of a cave -
it can be illuminated by the brief light
of one adventurer's small candle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A closed mind is like a closed book;
just a block of wood.
- Chinese proverb

Thank you for visiting: I don't like to think of laws by George Carlin.

Please sign up on the form below to receive my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie