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I'm awash in self-contempt! ...
by Woody Allen

I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Related topics: Funny Cynical Sad Feeling-Down Feel Movie

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is our choices ... that show what we truly are,
far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling (Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets)

Stand Tall, Stand Proud.
Know that you are unique and magnificent.
You do not need the approval of others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not need anyone's permission to be my true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Forgiveness is an act of self-love and respect.
- don Miguel Ruiz

No one was ever named "Hero" for following the crowd.
Heroes set their own course.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
- Judy Garland

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves.
- Edmund Hillary

What lies behind us and what lies before us
are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Be that self which one truly is.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I sail the seas of life as the MASTER of my ship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Talent is God-given; be humble.
Fame is man-given; be thankful.
Conceit is self-given; be careful.
- John Wooden

Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Listen to the compass of your heart.
All you need lies within you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

This above all, to thine own self be true.
- William Shakespeare

That you may retain your self-respect, it is better
to displease the people by doing what you know is right,
than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
- William J. H. Boetcker

Happiness blooms
in the presence of self-respect
and the absence of ego.
Love yourself.
Love everyone around you.
Love everyone in the whole world.
Know that your own life is of infinite importance,
as is every other life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One important key to success is self-confidence.
An important key to self-confidence is preparation.
- Arthur Ashe

The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self,
can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Grin your smile; giggle your laugh; unfurl your joy;
dash the last trace of your self-consciousness;
and cavort your most uninhibited play.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The way to develop self-confidence
is to do the thing you fear
and get a record of successful experiences behind you.
- William Jennings Bryan

Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What you get by achieving your goals is not as important
as what you become by achieving your goals.
- Henry David Thoreau

Your time is limited,
so don't waste it living someone else's life.
- Steve Jobs

Whenever you do a thing,
act as if all the world were watching.
- Thomas Jefferson

To dream of the person you would like to be
is to waste the person you are.
- Anonymous

When you do your best
you learn to accept yourself
- don Miguel Ruiz

No one can give you better advice than yourself.
- Cicero

The man who goes alone can start today;
but he who travels with another
must wait till that other is ready.
- Henry David Thoreau

What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.
- Helen Keller

The higher the sun rises, the less shadow it casts;
even so, the greater is the goodness, the less it covets praise;
yet cannot avoid its rewards in honors.
- Lao Tzu

Wisdom has its root in goodness,
not goodness its root in wisdom.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Weariness comes, on some days, from lack of service to self.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
What you'll discover will be wonderful.
What you'll discover is yourself.
- Alan Alda

Society censors our actions,
but our dreams reveal our true character.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Khalil Gibran

May your life always be Counterpoint to the Clamor of the World.
May you delight in Dancing Lightly With Life.
May you soar on eagle wings, high above the madness of the world.
May you always sing Melody in the Symphony of Your Life.
May you taste, smell, and touch your dreams of a beautiful tomorrow.
May your sun always shine, and your sky be forever blue.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie