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H.L. Mencken Quote of the Day

Welcome to these H.L. Mencken Quotes of the Day from my large collection of positive, romantic, and funny quotes.

We must respect the other fellow's religion,
but only in the sense and to the extent
that we respect his theory that
his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
- H. L. Mencken

Related topics: Wisdom Open Opinion Perspective

I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie.
I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave.
And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.
- H.L. Mencken

It is impossible to imagine the universe run by a wise,
just and omnipotent God, but it is quite easy to imagine
it run by a board of gods.
- H. L. Mencken

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

 

Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.
- H. L. Mencken

Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn't they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for;
as for me,
I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
- H. L. Mencken


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War will never cease until babies begin to come into
the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands.
- H. L. Mencken

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid
pregnancy by a resort to mathematics,
though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
- H. L. Mencken

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy,
but that it is a bore.
It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line.
- H. L. Mencken

The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
- H. L. Mencken

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
- H. L. Mencken

Men have a much better time of it than women.
For one thing, they marry later; for another thing,
they die earlier.
- H. L. Mencken

Platitude: an idea (a) that is admitted to be true by everyone,
and (b) that is not true.
- H. L. Mencken

Time stays, we go.
- H. L. Mencken

Man is always looking for someone to boast to;
woman is always looking for a shoulder to put her head on.
- H. L. Mencken

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one,
as yet, is suspicious.
- H. L. Mencken

The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure
he is one of God's children,
but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
- H. L. Mencken

Archbishop - A Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior
to that attained by Christ.
- H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

The common argument that crime is caused by poverty
is a kind of slander on the poor.
- H. L. Mencken

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

Communism, like any other revealed religion,
is largely made up of prophecies.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

A bad man is the sort who weeps every time he speaks of a good woman.
- H. L. Mencken

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.
- H. L. Mencken

Immorality: the morality of those who are having a better time.
- H. L. Mencken

I never lecture, not because I am shy or a bad speaker,
but simply because I detest the sort of people who
go to lectures and don't want to meet them.
- H. L. Mencken

It is hard for the ape to believe he descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

The only really happy folk are married women and single men.
- H. L. Mencken

The one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear -
fear of the unknown,
the complex, the inexplicable.
What he wants above everything else is safety.
- H. L. Mencken

Whenever you hear a man speak of his love for his country,
it is a sign that he expects to be paid for it.
- H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

If women believed in their husbands they would be a
good deal happier and also a good deal more foolish.
- H. L. Mencken

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that
he has descended from man.
- H. L. Mencken

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail;
if it were not for this penalty,
the jury would never hear the evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

A Sunday school is a prison in which children do penance
for the evil conscience of their parents.
- H. L. Mencken

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems
to be vastly greater than that of any other animal.
- H. L. Mencken

It is not materialism that is the chief curse of the world,
as pastors teach, but idealism.
Men get into trouble by taking their visions and hallucinations too seriously.
- H. L. Mencken

The only cure for contempt is counter-contempt.
- H. L. Mencken

A man may be a fool and not know it,
but not if he is married.
- H. L. Mencken

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.
- H. L. Mencken

A politician is an animal which can sit on a fence
and yet keep both ears to the ground.
- H. L. Mencken

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia -
to mistake an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
- H. L. Mencken

Giving every man a vote has no more made men wise and
free than Christianity has made them good.
- H. L. Mencken

Honor is simply the morality of superior men.
- H. L. Mencken

Man is a beautiful machine that works very badly.
- H. L. Mencken

The opera is to music what a bawdy house is to a cathedral.
- H. L. Mencken

Whenever a husband and wife begin to discuss their
marriage they are giving evidence at a coroner's inquest.
- H. L. Mencken

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately
in the palpably not true.
It is the chief occupation of mankind.
- H. L. Mencken

Every man is his own hell.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Injustice is relatively easy to bear;
what sting is justice.
- H. L. Mencken

As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft.
- H. L. Mencken

Have you ever watched a crab on the shore crawling
backward in search of the Atlantic Ocean,
and missing? That's the way the mind of man operates.
- H. L. Mencken

The difference between a moral man and a man of honor
is that the latter regrets a discreditable act,
even when it has worked and he has not been caught.
- H. L. Mencken

Wealth - any income that is at least one hundred dollars
more a year than the income of one's wife's sister's husband.
- H. L. Mencken

Women have simple tastes.
They get pleasure out of the conversation of children in arms and men in love.
- H. L. Mencken

No matter how long he lives, no man ever becomes as
wise as the average woman of forty-eight.
- H. L. Mencken

All government, of course, is against liberty.
- H. L. Mencken

I believe that all government is evil,
and that trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.
- H. L. Mencken

Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool.
After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.
- H. L. Mencken

No man ever quite believes in any other man.
One may believe in an idea absolutely,
but not in a man.
- H. L. Mencken

There is a saying in Baltimore that crabs may be prepared
in fifty ways and that all of them are good.
- H. L. Mencken

The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
- H. L. Mencken

Husbands never become good; they merely become proficient.
- H. L. Mencken


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