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My boyfriend and I broke up.
by Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

Related topics: Funny Romantic Love

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

Time to Die:
A Zen teacher had a rare and priceless teacup.
One day, his precocious student accidentally broke the cup.
Hearing the footsteps of his teacher,
the student held the pieces of the cup behind his back.
When the master appeared, he asked: "Why do people have to die?"
"This is natural," explained the teacher.
"Everything has to die and has just so long to live."
The student showed the shattered cup, saying,
"It was time for your cup to die."
- Traditional Zen Koan

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

As the evening beckons with the promise of tomorrow...
may your gratitude rise up and with strength answer, "yes."
- Mary Anne Radmacher

"Hurry up" ranks right up there with "you need to"
as a destroyer of our humanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations.
I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty,
believe in them, and try to follow where they lead.
- Louisa May Alcott

If it's Right, stand up for it - together.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

Never give up on the most important goals in your life.
Never give up on your life purpose.
Never give up on your core values.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Some people dream of success
while others wake up and work hard at it.
- Anonymous

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

You can't let praise or criticism get to you.
It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.
- John Wooden

Dream up the world you want to live in. Dream out loud.
- Bono

The meaning of life is not simply to exist, to survive,
but to move ahead, to go up, to achieve, to conquer.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

Never Let Anyone Get Your Goat,
Push Your Buttons,
Get You Riled Up,
or Annoy You.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
- Sidney Sheldon

If you would lift me up you must be on higher ground.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The most common way people give up their power
is by thinking they don't have any.
- Alice Walker

We occasionally stumble over the truth
but most of us pick ourselves up and
hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

They who can give up essential liberty
to obtain a little temporary safety
deserve neither liberty nor safety.
- Benjamin Franklin

IF it is to be, it is up to me.
- Anonymous

You can conquer almost any fear
if you will only make up your mind to do so.
For remember, fear doesn't exist
anywhere except in the mind.
- Dale Carnegie

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

Never, never, never give up.
- Winston Churchill

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen

A man is a success if he gets up in
the morning and gets to bed at night,
and in between he does what he wants to do.
- Bob Dylan

Sacrifice everything, and give up nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness is a choice.
You grieve, you stomp your feet,
you pick yourself up and choose to be happy.
- Lucy Lawless

Look well into thyself; there is a source of strength
which will always spring up if thou wilt always look there.
- Marcus Aurelius

Your point of view sets you up well in advance
for how you view the events as they unfold.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.
- Dave Barry

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.
- e. e. cummings

If we screw it up, start over. Try something else.
- Lee Iacocca

Never give up.
- Anonymous

It's not whether you get knocked down;
it's whether you get back up.
- Vince Lombardi

Never give up, for that
is just the place and time
that the tide will turn.
- Harriet Beecher Stowe

I won't give up 'til goats sing and walruses fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you do not change direction,
you may end up where you are heading.
- Lao Tzu

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize
how close they were to success when they gave up.
- Thomas Edison

It is never too late to give up our prejudices.
- Henry David Thoreau

Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.
- Abraham Lincoln

Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway.
- John Wayne

It takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.
- Anonymous

I was brought up to believe that the only thing worth doing
was to add to the sum of accurate information in the world.
- Margaret Mead

Letting go doesn't mean giving up...
it means moving on.
- Anonymous

People are just as happy
as they make up their minds to be.
- Abraham Lincoln

Circumstances don't defeat you -
you defeat yourself when you give up.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
- Japanese Proverb

The sun WILL come up tomorrow.
- Anonymous

In spite of everything, I still believe
that people are really good at heart.
I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation
consisting of confusion, misery and death.
- Anne Frank

Great acts are made up of small deeds.
- Lao Tzu

What power there is in our service when our actions
line up with our mission, skills and joy.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You grow up the day you have
your first real laugh - at yourself.
- Ethel Barrymore

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies,
but even more to stand up to your friends.
- J.K. Rowling

Stand up to your obstacles
and do something about them.
You will find that they haven't
half the strength you think they have.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Don't ever give up.
- Anonymous

Being defeated is often a temporary condition.
Giving up is what makes it permanent.
- Marilyn vos Savant

Whoever undertakes to set himself up
as a judge of Truth and Knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.
- Albert Einstein

A great secret of success is to go through life
as a man who never gets used up.
- Albert Schweitzer

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie