Cynical Quotes
Cynical Sayings (8)

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Related topics: Religion

Do not bite at the bait of pleasure,
till you know there is no hook beneath it.
- Thomas Jefferson

A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde

You can always count on Americans to do the right thing -
after they've tried everything else.
- Winston Churchill

It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain

Morality which depends upon the helplessness
of a man or woman has not much to recommend it.
Morality is rooted in the purity of our hearts.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

As far as I'm concerned, I prefer
silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
- Albert Einstein

It is only the poor who pay cash,
and that not from virtue,
but because they are refused credit.
- Anatole France

It is said that the world is in a state of bankruptcy,
that the world owes the world more than the world can pay.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

It is difficult for the common good to prevail
against the intense concentration
of those who have a special interest,
especially if the decisions are made behind locked doors.
- Jimmy Carter

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- Winston Churchill

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau

Bureaucrats: they are dead at 30 and buried at 60.
They are like custard pies; you can't nail them to a wall.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
- Albert Einstein

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Is it ignorance or apathy?
Hey, I don't know and I don't care.
- Jimmy Buffett

All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

I love my attitude problem.
- Anonymous

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill

Everyone rises to their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it.
- Don Marquis

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

In wartime, truth is so precious that she
should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
- Winston Churchill

Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

Familiarity breeds consent.
- Oscar Wilde

Authority has every reason to fear the skeptic,
for authority can rarely survive in the face of doubt.
- Robert Lindner

The future ain't what it used to be.
- Yogi Berra

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

I believe in equality for everyone,
except reporters and photographers.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

My life is difficult. I need more money.
- the movie The Expendables (2010)

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

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