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Cynical Quotes
Cynical Sayings (7)

A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
- Will Rogers

Related topics: Cute Whimsey

Memory diffuses fact.
- Diane Sawyer

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

 

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

Experience demands that man is
the only animal which devours his own kind,
for I can apply no milder term to
the general prey of the rich on the poor.
- Thomas Jefferson

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it,
people will eventually come to believe it.
- Joseph Goebbels (Minister of Propaganda in Nazi Germany)

Washington is a city of
Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
- John F. Kennedy

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

The most difficult thing in the world
is to know how to do a thing
and to watch somebody else doing it wrong,
without comment.
- Theodore. H. White

The light at the end of the tunnel
may be an oncoming train.
- Anonymous

The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry

I feel coming on a strange disease - humility.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

War is mainly a catalogue of blunders.
- Winston Churchill

I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)

It ain't those parts of the Bible
that I can't understand that bother me,
it is the parts that I do understand.
- Mark Twain

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

The inherent vice of capitalism
is the unequal sharing of blessings;
the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
- Winston Churchill

Unless they share our opinions,
we seldom find people sensible.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why wait until you're dead,
when you can create your own Hell right here and now.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Familiarity breeds consent.
- Oscar Wilde

Just once in a while, let us exalt
the importance of ideas and information.
- Edward R. Murrow

Man's role is uncertain, undefined, and perhaps unnecessary.
- Margaret Mead

Jesus was all right,
but his disciples were thick and ordinary.
It's them twisting it that ruins it for me.
- John Lennon

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

The greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The end of the human race will be that
it will eventually die of civilization.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

When we get piled upon one another
in large cities, as in Europe,
we shall become as corrupt as Europe.
- Thomas Jefferson

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

Don't think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

Every spirit makes its house,
and we can give a shrewd guess
from the house to the inhabitant.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some days just go to Hell faster than others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Authority has every reason to fear the skeptic,
for authority can rarely survive in the face of doubt.
- Robert Lindner

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

The speed of communications is wondrous to behold.
It is also true that speed can multiply
the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.
- Edward R. Murrow

We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.
- Henry David Thoreau

Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power.
We have guided missiles and misguided men.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Beware of all enterprises that require a new set of clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous

Loyalty to country ALWAYS.
Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
- Mark Twain

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
- Mark Twain

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The time comes upon every public man
when it is best for him to keep his lips closed.
- Abraham Lincoln

There are 12 pages of Cynical Quotes: 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12


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