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Cynical Quotes
Cynical Sayings (4)
If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun.
- Katharine Hepburn
Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Thinking is what most people resort to after all else fails.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Truth is always in harmony with herself,
and is not concerned chiefly to reveal the justice
that may consist with wrong-doing.
- Henry David Thoreau
Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous
The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous
Even if you're on the right track,
you'll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers
Some people are so heavenly minded
that they are no earthly good.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
My criticism of most religions is that
they don't allow criticism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Few things are harder to put up with
than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
It's just random chance, baby; get used to it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
People do not like to think.
If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.
Conclusions are not always pleasant.
- Helen Keller
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
Talk doesn't cook rice.
- Chinese Proverb
Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash
It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra
A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
- Benjamin Franklin
Though I am a servant, I am not your servant.
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde
Computers happen.
- Anonymous
Overwhelm is not a pleasant condition.
The to-do list overflows,
the deadlines appear imminent and immovable.
There are too many demands upon too little of your time.
Does this sound familiar?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer
I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel
Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Inside every cynical person,
there is a disappointed idealist.
- George Carlin
I am neither bitter nor cynical but I do wish
there was less immaturity in political thinking.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does
not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses.
They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton,
they laughed at the Wright brothers.
But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown.
- Carl Sagan
Sometimes it happens that a man's circle
of horizon becomes smaller and smaller,
and as the radius approaches zero
it concentrates on one point.
And then that becomes his point of view.
- David Hilbert
If a man walks in the woods for love of them half of each day,
he is in danger of being regarded as a loafer.
But if he spends his days as a speculator,
shearing off those woods and making the earth bald before her time,
he is deemed an industrious and enterprising citizen.
- Henry David Thoreau
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
History will have to record that the greatest tragedy
of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
The rich are not born skeptical or cynical.
They are made that way by events, circumstances.
- Paul Getty
Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
Loyalty to country ALWAYS.
Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.
- Mark Twain
Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon
Possession isn't nine-tenths of the law.
It's nine-tenths of the problem.
- John Lennon
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
- George Bernard Shaw
It is dangerous to be right in matters
on which the established authorities are wrong.
- Voltaire
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers
Do not marry a man to reform him.
That is what reform schools are for.
- Mae West
Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter
The inherent vice of capitalism
is the unequal sharing of blessings;
the inherent virtue of socialism
is the equal sharing of miseries.
- Winston Churchill
We are a puny and fickle folk.
Avarice, hesitation, and following are our diseases.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Gossip is the opiate of the oppressed.
- Erica Jong
I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Authority has every reason to fear the skeptic,
for authority can rarely survive in the face of doubt.
- Robert Lindner
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
There are 12 pages of Cynical Quotes: 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12
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