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Cynical Quotes
Cynical Sayings (12)
Don't think you are going to conceal thoughts
by concealing evidence that they ever existed.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Related topics: Government Political
Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields
It appears to be a law that you cannot have
a deep sympathy with both man and nature.
- Henry David Thoreau
Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Life's a bitch... and then you change your attitude.
- Jennifer Unlimited
Everybody loves you when you're six foot in the ground.
- John Lennon
The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln
Although personally I am quite content with existing explosives,
I feel we must not stand in the path of improvement.
- Winston Churchill
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin
I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln
By giving us the opinions of the uneducated,
journalism keeps us in touch
with the ignorance of the community.
- Oscar Wilde
Where there is reverence there is fear,
but there is not reverence everywhere that there is fear,
because fear presumably has a wider
extension than reverence.
- Socrates
You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell
I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee
Socialism is a philosophy of failure,
the creed of ignorance,
and the gospel of envy,
its inherent virtue is
the equal sharing of misery.
- Winston Churchill
The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill
Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
- Albert Einstein
The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill
Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn
The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard
Don't underestimate your abilities,
that's your boss's job.
- Anonymous
Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin
God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson
Tragedy is when I cut my finger.
Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
- Mel Brooks
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons
out of the hands of fools.
Let's start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen
The speed of communications is wondrous to behold.
It is also true that speed can multiply
the distribution of information that we know to be untrue.
- Edward R. Murrow
Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
I believe totally in a Capitalist System,
I only wish that someone would try it.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken
These capitalists generally act harmoniously and in concert,
to fleece the people.
- Abraham Lincoln
I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln
Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai
It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer
Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
I have tried lately to read Shakespeare,
and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me.
- Charles Darwin
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A bank is a place that will lend you money
if you can prove that you don't need it.
- Bob Hope
One man's "magic" is another man's engineering.
"Supernatural" is a null word.
- Robert A. Heinlein
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill
Our honorable and worthy ancestors knew that the world was flat,
motionless, and the center of the universe.
They knew the human body could not withstand
the forces of traveling faster than 19 mph.
They knew that the way to salvation was
exorcising witches and slaying non-believers.
They knew that it was a mortal sin to marry
someone of a different skin color.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
While civilization has been improving our houses,
it has not equally improved
the men who are to inhabit them.
It has created palaces, but it was
not so easy to create noblemen and kings.
- Henry David Thoreau
Belief is a virus, and once it gets into you,
its first order of business is to preserve itself,
and the way it preserves itself
is to keep you from having any doubts,
and the way it keeps you from doubting
is to blind you to the way things really are.
- Philip Caputo
Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin
As for doing good; that is one of the professions which is full.
Moreover I have tried it fairly and, strange as it may seem,
am satisfied that it does not agree with my constitution.
- Henry David Thoreau
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
A young man who does not have what
it takes to perform military service
is not likely to have what
it takes to make a living.
Today's military rejects include
tomorrow's hard-core unemployed.
- John F. Kennedy
If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill
It is a truism that almost any sect, cult, or religion
will legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power to do so,
and will follow it by suppressing opposition,
subverting all education to seize early the minds of the young,
and by killing, locking up, or driving underground all heretics.
- Robert Heinlein
Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln
People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind
My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill
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