Cynical Quotes
Cynical Sayings (11)

Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie"
until you can find a rock.
- Will Rogers

Related topics: Government Political

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death

Delusion: belief said to be false by someone who does not share it.
- Thomas Szasz

Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace
and those who could make a good peace
would never have won the war.
- Winston Churchill

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

As far as I'm concerned, I prefer
silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
- Albert Einstein

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

It is when power is wedded to chronic fear
that it becomes formidable.
- Eric Hoffer

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Faith is believing what you know ain't so.
- Mark Twain

The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin

Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.
- Mark Twain

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

It may be true that the law cannot make a man love me,
but it can keep him from lynching me,
and I think that's pretty important.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

If it requires a uniform, it's a worthless endeavor.
- George Carlin

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

War is the ultimate tool of politics.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

How does so much gossip fit in such small minds?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

When we get piled upon one another
in large cities, as in Europe,
we shall become as corrupt as Europe.
- Thomas Jefferson

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie

I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

God is a concept by which we measure our pain.
- John Lennon

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

The existence of an anthropomorphic
"Father-figure" deity is not impossible,
merely exceptionally improbable and illogical.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love my attitude problem.
- Anonymous

The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
- Albert Einstein

All religions are the same:
Religion is basically guilt, with different holidays.
- Cathy Ladman

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

I have tried lately to read Shakespeare,
and found it so intolerably dull that it nauseated me.
- Charles Darwin

Advice is seldom welcome,
and those who need it the most, like it the least.
- Lord Chesterfield

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

Most people's historical perspective
begins with the day of their birth.
- Rush Limbaugh

Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

We're more popular than Jesus now;
I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity.
- John Lennon

There are 12 pages of Cynical Quotes: 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12

Thank you for visiting these quotes and sayings.

Join over 70,000 subscribers Sign-up to receive Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes free via email Daily inspirational quotes and motivational messages of self-worth, choice, positive attitude, happiness, forgiveness, and gratitude. Inspiring motivational sayings plus Jonathan's insights into life, relationships, and joyful living.
Enter Your E-Mail Address:
Enter Your Name (what you want to be called):
Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way. Or Subscribe to the Feedburner feed for Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes.