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Cynical Quotes
Cynical Sayings (10)
If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus
The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip.
- Dave Barry
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy?
- Ursula K. Le Guin
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
It has always been a mystery to me
how men can feel themselves honored
by the humiliation of their fellow beings.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Men have become the tools of their tools.
- Henry David Thoreau
The reason why the world lacks unity,
and lies broken and in heaps,
is, because man is disunited with himself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
In my country we go to prison first, and then become President.
- Nelson Mandela
It is the things for which there is no evidence
that are believed with passion.
- Bertrand Russell
If you can find something everyone agrees on, it's wrong.
- Mo Udall
Be careful about reading health books.
You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong
A nation that is afraid to let its people
judge the truth and falsehood in an open market
is a nation that is afraid of its people.
- John F. Kennedy
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
In religion and politics, people's belief's and convictions
are in almost every case gotten at second hand,
and without examination
- Mark Twain
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
Victory has a thousand fathers,
but defeat is an orphan.
- John F. Kennedy
Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous
Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker
I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
The sweltering summer of the Negro's legitimate discontent
will not pass until there is
an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence;
then success is sure.
- Mark Twain
College isn't the place to go for ideas.
- Helen Keller
Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley
When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner
To look at the cross-section of any plan of a big city
is to look at something like the section of a fibrous tumor.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe,
our class, and our nation;
and this means we must develop a world perspective.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Television is chewing gum for the eyes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
We are always paid for our suspicion by finding what we suspect.
- Henry David Thoreau
Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde
By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.
- George Carlin
Life is just one damned thing after another.
- Elbert Hubbard (Philistine - A Periodical of Protest, 1896)
Science may have found a cure for most evils;
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all -
the apathy of human beings.
- Helen Keller
People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin
Almost any sect, cult, or religion will
legislate its creed into law
if it acquires the political power.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
I am bored with it all.
- Winston Churchill
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
Every man thinks God is on his side.
- Jean Anouilh
Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead
The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation
How does so much gossip fit in such small minds?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
My life is difficult. I need more money.
- the movie The Expendables (2010)
What would be the use of immortality to a person
who cannot use well a half an hour.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard
God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir
A man is incomplete until he is married.
After that, he is finished.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Advertisements contain the only truths
to be relied on in a newspaper.
- Thomas Jefferson
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
It's so sweet, I feel like my teeth
are rotting when I listen to the radio.
- Bono
Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein
War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill
In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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