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A woman would pitch a joke.
by Wanda Sykes

A woman would pitch a joke.
Nothing.
Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
- Wanda Sykes

I'm really funny now.
- Wanda Sykes

I love Costas.
He's knows too much, but he's a good guy.
- Wanda Sykes

I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business.
- Wanda Sykes

 

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy.
I took a chance.
- Wanda Sykes

It wasn't until I became more confident with myself
and I put myself forward instead of the jokes;
at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
- Wanda Sykes

It's easier to rip somebody to shreds while you're making them laugh.
- Wanda Sykes


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Men don't hear women.
- Wanda Sykes

I like doing a bunch of different things,
being all over the place.
- Wanda Sykes

Usually, there's nothing being thrown toward the stage or at me.
Then I feel pretty good about it.
- Wanda Sykes

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing,
if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.
- Wanda Sykes

In '87, I used to do this awful, awful James Brown impression.
- Wanda Sykes

But sometimes the women writers will pitch something and I'll hear it,
but the men will keep talking.
- Wanda Sykes

And then also I think it's harder for women because
comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.
- Wanda Sykes

I'm here today because I hated everything else.
- Wanda Sykes

I guess because of my act, people think that I say things they want to say,
and that they can just come up and say anything to me.
- Wanda Sykes

It's hard to get fired from the government.
You have to, like, kill people.
- Wanda Sykes

Then you had people who wanted to get into comedy just to get a TV deal.
- Wanda Sykes

Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.
- Wanda Sykes

If you're passionate about your work,
it makes the people around you want to be involved too.
- Wanda Sykes

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming
out of the crackhouse or something.
Just let me get going.
- Wanda Sykes

I work hard.
The staff and crew see how much energy I put into this project,
and it makes them step up.
- Wanda Sykes

But I think funny and talent will always win out;
I mean,
of course there are hurdles, but I think if you're
funny you will get over all of that.
- Wanda Sykes

I always want to go back and do stand-up;
I like the freedom.
- Wanda Sykes

It seems like when I first started, people got into
comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.
- Wanda Sykes

I think it's because my comedy is in your face,
and it comes from a place that's real.
- Wanda Sykes

What drives the creative person is that we see it all.
- Wanda Sykes

Back then, I was doing more of my impression of what
a comic is supposed to do.
- Wanda Sykes

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard,
but most of them are just waiting to retire.
- Wanda Sykes

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did,
that I'm starting to get people - not a large group,
but quite a few people - who come to see me because
they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.
- Wanda Sykes

If something stinks, I say it stinks.
But I try to massage it a little and not be as cutting,
come behind it with a joke: Hey, I cut you deep,
but now let me put a couple of stitches in you.
- Wanda Sykes

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates

Every man and woman is born into the world
to do something unique and something distinctive;
and if he or she does not do it,
it will never be done.
- Benjamin E. Mays

It doesn't matter how long my hair is
or what color my skin is
or whether I'm a woman or a man.
- John Lennon

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
- Agatha Christie

The world's biggest power is the youth and beauty of a woman.
- Chanakya

As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family,
she has a good right to them.
- Josh Billings

To be successful, a woman has to be much better at her job than a man.
- Golda Meir

Marriage, for a woman at least, hampers the two things
that made life to me glorious -
friendship and learning.
- Jane Harrison

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's
birthday but never remembers her age.
- Robert Frost

A family can develop only with a loving woman as its center.
- Karl Wilhelm Friedrich Schlegel

Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.
- Marlene Dietrich

Any woman who understands the problems of running a
home will be nearer to understanding the problems of running a country.
- Margaret Thatcher

Clearly, society has a tremendous stake in insisting
on a woman's natural fitness for the career of mother:
the alternatives are all too expensive.
- Ann Oakley

A woman can take care of the family.
It takes a man to provide structure,
to provide stability.
- Tom DeLay

A man never knows how to say goodbye;
a woman never knows when to say it.
- Helen Rowland

Every time we liberate a woman, we liberate a man.
- Margaret Mead

A woman whose smile is open and whose expression is
glad has a kind of beauty no matter what she wears.
- Anne Roiphe

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and
dissected at least one woman.
- Honore de Balzac

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose
as a friend if he were a woman.
- Joseph Joubert

A man who has never made a woman angry is a failure in life.
- Christopher Morley

A married woman has the same right to control her own
body as does an unmarried woman.
- Sol Wachtler

The man in our society is the breadwinner;
the woman has enough to do as the homemaker,
wife and mother.
- Dorothy Fields

A woman who thinks she is intelligent demands the same rights as man.
An intelligent woman gives up.
- Sidonie Gabrielle Colette

A witty woman is a treasure; a witty beauty is a power.
- George Meredith

I concentrate on exercises from the waist down,
since that is the laziest part of a woman's body.
- Tina Louise

A woman can plan when to have her family and how to support a family.
- Kathleen Turner

A woman's life can really be a succession of lives,
each revolving around some emotionally compelling situation or challenge,
and each marked off by some intense experience.
- Wallis Simpson

I met an American woman and got married so I had to get a job.
- Walter Wager

Trust no friend without faults, and love a woman,
but no angel.
- Doris Lessing

Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,
nor hell a fury like a woman scorned.
- William Congreve

What motivated me? My mother.
My mother was an immigrant woman, a peasant woman,
struggled all her life, worked in the garment center.
- Al Lewis

A woman knows the face of the man she loves as a sailor knows the open sea.
- Honore de Balzac

A pregnant woman facing the most dire circumstances
must be able to count on her doctor to do what is medically
necessary to protect her from serious physical harm.
- Barbara Mikulski

For most of history, Anonymous was a woman.
- Virginia Woolf

Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic.
- Rosalind Russell

A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley

I don't think you should feel about a film.
You should feel about a woman, not a movie.
You can't kiss a movie.
- Jean-Luc Godard

Housework is what a woman does that nobody notices
unless she hasn't done it.
- Evan Esar

Whoever has trusted a woman has trusted deceivers.
- Hesiod

What is the appropriate behavior for a man or a woman
in the midst of this world,
where each person is clinging to his piece of debris?
What's the proper salutation between people
as they pass each other in this flood?
- The Buddha


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