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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. ...
by Woody Allen

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.
- Woody Allen

Related topics: Cynical Funny

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
- Woody Allen

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have,
instead of what you don't have.
- Woody Allen

Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry


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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen

 

I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year
for cheating on my metaphysics final ...
I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

I'm awash in self-contempt!
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

The food at this place is really terrible ...
and such small portions.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I have a very low threshold of death.
My doctor says I can't have bullets enter my body at any time.
- the Woody Allen movie Casino Royale

I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen

You have to learn to push the guilt
under the rug and move on,
otherwise it overwhelms you.
- the Woody Allen movie Match Point

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Bringing a childlike wonder
and a beginner's mind to life
maximizes both success and joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.
- Anonymous (often attributed to Abraham Lincoln)

Happiness walks on busy feet.
- Kitte Turmell

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Adopt the pace of nature: her secret is patience.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.
- Aristotle

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a reflection of intent.
Love reflects love.
Hate reflects hate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...
It's about learning to Dance in the Rain.
- Vivian Greene

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Pursue some path, however narrow and crooked,
in which you can walk with love and reverence.
- Henry David Thoreau

It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie

Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.
- Leonardo da Vinci

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

Honor tradition AND question tradition.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
- Anonymous

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Move out of your comfort zone. You can only
grow if you are willing to feel awkward and
uncomfortable when you try something new.
- Brian Tracy

When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw

He who takes medicine and neglects his diet
wastes the skill of his doctors.
- Chinese Proverb


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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie



All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.

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