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The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
by W. C. Fields

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields

Related topics: Cynical Funny

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

I am free of prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
- W. C. Fields

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.
You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.
- Naguib Mahfouz

He who knows others is clever;
He who knows himself has discernment.
- Lao Tzu

If you have an important point to make,
don't try to be subtle or clever. Use a pile driver.
Hit the point once. Then come back and hit it again.
Then hit it a third time - a tremendous whack.
- Winston Churchill

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

A clever man commits no minor blunders.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I am so clever that sometimes I don't
understand a single word of what I am saying.
- Oscar Wilde

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
- Albert Schweitzer

A man likes his wife to be
just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness,
and just stupid enough to admire it.
- Israel Zangwill

Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr

If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie

A discussion of philosophy is like a cat chasing its tail -
it may be an amusing diversion but
it has no chance for a satisfying conclusion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Like a Cat, I am Independent, Patient, Alert, and Decisive.
When the time is right, I pounce on opportunity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll

If you want something to be different than it is,
you might as well teach a cat to bark.
Wanting something to be different than it is, is hopeless.
- Byron Katie

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

THE fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
- Carl Sandburg

A meowing cat can't catch mice.
- Yiddish Proverb

It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton

I care not much for a man's religion
whose dog and cat are not the better for it.
- Abraham Lincoln

The unpredictable and irregular happenings
of life's cycles are an inherent part of their nature.
There are droughts and heat waves, injuries occur.
The lion eats the zebra -
one is nourished, one dies - neither failed.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous

If I had eight hours to chop down a tree,
I'd spend six hours sharpening my ax.
- Abraham Lincoln

Give me six hours to chop down a tree
and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln

Don't live down to expectations.
Go out there and do something remarkable.
- Wendy Wasserstein

Most people give up just when
they're about to achieve success.
They quit on the one yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game,
one foot from a winning touch down.
- Ross Perot

Remember that life is an ADVENTURE, and cheer Whee...
all the way down the slippery razor-blade of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hate destroys, Love builds.
Hate tears down, Love renews and creates.
Hatred holds no hope for the future.
Love creates Today as its own better future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I wrap the potential for bitterness,
resentment, martyrdom in the blanket of forgiveness
and just set it down.
Then it just melts in the warmth. And goes away.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.
- Joseph Campbell

Shake structures.
School yourself.
Look twice at a thing,
once upside down.
Answer yourself clearly.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Ask yourself to slow down.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Hunker down.
- Anonymous

We keep moving forward, opening new doors,
and doing new things, because we're curious
and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
- Walt Disney

You're standing on the threshold of success.
Don't look down, it'll make you dizzy.
- the character Timothy Q. Mouse in the Walt Disney movie Dumbo

Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It's not whether you get knocked down;
it's whether you get back up.
- Vince Lombardi

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo,
but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you
when the limo breaks down.
- Oprah Winfrey

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

Let not him who is houseless pull down the house of another,
but let him work diligently and build one for himself,
thus by example assuring that his own
shall be safe from violence when built.
- Abraham Lincoln

A sense of humor... is needed armor.
Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips
is a sign that the person down deep
has a pretty good grasp of life.
- Hugh Sidey

And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down.
Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don't open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.
Let the beauty we love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.
- Rumi (Persian poet 1207-1273)

Always aim high, work hard, and care deeply
about what you believe in.
When you stumble, keep faith.
When you're knocked down, get right back up.
And never listen to anyone who says
you can't or shouldn't go on.
- Hilary Clinton

Happiness is a butterfly, which, when pursued,
is always just beyond your grasp,
but which, if you will sit down quietly,
may alight upon you.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne

If you stand up and be counted,
from time to time you may get yourself knocked down.
But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again.
A man flattened by conformity stays down for good.
- Thomas J. Watson

Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain

Angry and happy don't mix.
Flush out the angry,
and the happy has a place to put down roots.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins

Everything that slows us down and forces patience,
everything that sets us back into the slow circles of nature,
is a help. Gardening is an instrument of grace.
- May Sarton

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

Love your Neighbor; yet don't pull down your Hedge.
- Benjamin Franklin

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't lie down. Get up.
- Bono

Today is my day to practice whimsey,
skip on the beach, and play with the waves,
watch wondrous cloud animals parade my story,
find a magical white bunny down every rabbit hole.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is nothing more tragic than to find an individual
bogged down in the length of life, devoid of breadth.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

In case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart,
bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees.
- Jewel

Today is your day to practice whimsey,
skip on the beach, and play with the waves,
watch wondrous cloud animals parade your story,
find a magical white bunny down every rabbit hole.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie