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I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. ...
by Phyllis Diller

I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller

Related topics: Cute Whimsey Funny

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

It is never too late to become what you might have been.
- George Eliot

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Thank you for joining me on this journey we call life,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

None are so old as those who have outlived enthusiasm.
- Henry David Thoreau

Self-respect is not a function of size, age, or wealth.
Breathe deep, sing loud and sweet,
"I am me, I am unique, I am magnificent."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

And in the end, it's not
the years in your life that count,
it's the life in your years.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is to be taken lightly
by those who wish to be happy
and by those who wish to age gracefully.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
- Helen Keller

Habits age men before their time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The golden age is before us, not behind us.
- William Shakespeare

Age does not protect you from love.
But love, to some extent, protects you from age.
- Anais Nin

The heresy of one age becomes the orthodoxy of the next.
Mere tolerance has given place to a sentiment of brotherhood
between sincere men of all denominations.
- Helen Keller

Every formula of every religion has, in this age of reason,
to submit to the acid test of reason and universal assent.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Dreams are renewable no matter what our age.
- Dale Turner

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow

He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison

Naturally, every age thinks that all ages before it were prejudiced,
and today we think this more than ever, and are just as wrong
as all previous ages that thought so.
How often have we not seen the truth condemned!
It is sad but unfortunately true that man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung

Youth, large, lusty, loving -
Youth, full of grace, force, fascination.
Do you know that Old Age may come after you
with equal grace, force, fascination?
- Walt Whitman

I'm saving that rocker for the day
when I feel as old as I really am.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty, never grows old.
- Franz Kafka

The youth gets together his materials
to build a bridge to the moon,
or, perchance, a palace or temple on the earth,
and, at length, the middle-aged man
concludes to build a woodshed with them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is utterly false and cruelly arbitrary
to put all the play and learning into childhood,
all the work into middle age,
and all the regrets into old age.
- Margaret Mead

Reading, after a certain age,
diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits.
Any man who reads too much and uses his own brain too little
falls into lazy habits of thinking.
- Albert Einstein

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

At twenty years of age the will reigns;
at thirty, the wit;
and at forty, the judgment.
- Benjamin Franklin

Instead of being presented with stereotypes
by age, sex, color, class, or religion,
children must have the opportunity
to learn that within each range,
some people are loathsome and some are delightful.
- Margaret Mead

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend."
We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older.
The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young.
We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age
when a busy life and changing geographies
can cause us to neglect those friends.
Today is the day to invest in those people
we hope will call us "old friend" in the years to come.
- Grant Fairley

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Every great architect is - necessarily - a great poet.
He must be a great original interpreter
of his time, his day, his age.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
- Albert Einstein

We prefer world law in the age of self-determination
to world war in the age of mass extermination.
- John F. Kennedy

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Each age, it is found, must write its own books;
or rather, each generation for the next succeeding.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Probably the happiest period in life
most frequently is in middle age,
when the eager passions of youth are cooled,
and the infirmities of age not yet begun;
as we see that the shadows,
which are at morning and evening so large,
almost entirely disappear at midday.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Life is a mirror, and will reflect back
to the thinker what he thinks into it.
- Ernest Holmes

I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein

We are not held back by the love we didn't receive in the past,
but by the love we're not extending in the present.
- Marianne Williamson

If you aren't in the moment,
you are either looking forward to uncertainty,
or back to pain and regret.
- Jim Carrey

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

It had long since come to my attention
that people of accomplishment
rarely sat back and let things happen to them.
They went out and happened to things.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The wise man looks back into the past,
and does not grieve over what is far off,
nor rejoice over what is near;
for he knows that time is without end.
- Lao Tzu

Who forces time is pushed back by time;
who yields to time finds time on his side.
- The Talmud

Everyone is a mirror image of yourself -
your own thinking coming back at you.
- Byron Katie

I have accepted fear as a part of life -
specifically the fear of change...
I have gone ahead despite the pounding
in the heart that says: turn back.
- Erica Jong

It's not whether you get knocked down;
it's whether you get back up.
- Vince Lombardi

If we are to go forward, we must go back
and rediscover those precious values -
that all reality hinges on moral foundations
and that all reality has spiritual control.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

If you have zest and enthusiasm
you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.
- Henry David Thoreau

A mind that is stretched by a new experience
an never go back to its old dimensions.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

When I look back on all these worries,
I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed
that he had had a lot of trouble in his life,
most of which had never happened.
- Winston Churchill

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Let us not look back in anger
or forward in fear,
but around in awareness.
- James Thurber

The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing

Love is never lost. If not reciprocated,
it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
- Washington Irving

Every moment wasted looking back
keeps us from moving forward.
- Hilary Clinton

If you love something, set it free;
if it comes back it's yours,
if it doesn't, it never was.
- Richard Bach

The more we know about how we lost
our spontaneous wonder and creativity,
the more we can find ways to get them back.
- John Bradshaw

Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back
and realize they were the big things.
- Robert Brault

When life seems overwhelming, just step back for a day.
Consider what is most important.
Focus on the crucial issues in your life.
Just let the rest of your upsets go.
You can't fix the whole world, but you can still make a difference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Laughter gives us distance.
It allows us to step back from an event,
deal with it and then move on.
- Bob Newhart

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May the world be kind to you, and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie